I went to Six
Flags [Fiesta Texas!] yesterday, and it was just what I needed. I used
to be terrified of roller coasters. It wasn’t until the last time I
went, a few years ago, that I ever remember really enjoying a ride. I
was riding the Batman and finally, I just relaxed and let go instead of
clenching up and trying to fight it.
There was a ride in San Antonio (called the Scream) kind of like the Superman in St. Louis, except instead of going up slowly and just dropping straight down, it shot you up at the beginning, then shot you down, then went up and down a few more times. I screamed; the falling feeling was so intense, but on the last time it dropped, I finally relaxed, and I didn’t get that horrible feeling of falling anymore—it was an awesome feeling instead.
I wrote this a couple blogs ago:
I want to seek Him hard this summer. I want to be pushed to the edge of total surrender. I want to metaphorically have that feeling in your stomach when you're falling and you just have to trust the roller coaster, or the harness, or whatever you're in, and enjoy the ride. Life with God is an adventure for sure, and I want Him to give me that supernatural boldness and courage that only He can provide.
That’s why I knew I needed this. Fears have been holding me back lately, as well as my refusal to trust God. Yet I want so badly to have the kind of obedience I have in the past where I know I don’t even have the strength to obey, but I’m doing it anyway, so I am scrambling, desperately relying on God. I want to trust Him like that again. I haven't even been letting God prove Himself faithful.
I’m tired of holding back. I’m tired of fighting it. I’m tired of trying to live life on my own.
You can have me, Lord.
There was a ride in San Antonio (called the Scream) kind of like the Superman in St. Louis, except instead of going up slowly and just dropping straight down, it shot you up at the beginning, then shot you down, then went up and down a few more times. I screamed; the falling feeling was so intense, but on the last time it dropped, I finally relaxed, and I didn’t get that horrible feeling of falling anymore—it was an awesome feeling instead.
I wrote this a couple blogs ago:
I want to seek Him hard this summer. I want to be pushed to the edge of total surrender. I want to metaphorically have that feeling in your stomach when you're falling and you just have to trust the roller coaster, or the harness, or whatever you're in, and enjoy the ride. Life with God is an adventure for sure, and I want Him to give me that supernatural boldness and courage that only He can provide.
That’s why I knew I needed this. Fears have been holding me back lately, as well as my refusal to trust God. Yet I want so badly to have the kind of obedience I have in the past where I know I don’t even have the strength to obey, but I’m doing it anyway, so I am scrambling, desperately relying on God. I want to trust Him like that again. I haven't even been letting God prove Himself faithful.
I’m tired of holding back. I’m tired of fighting it. I’m tired of trying to live life on my own.
You can have me, Lord.
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