I don't normally open up much on this blog, but I want to share about my life and what's going on with me right now. Especially for those of you (like family) who want to hear about it.
The last few weeks have been crazy busy--finishing up classes; moving home; doctor's appointments; getting my wisdom teeth taken out; getting my car fixed; visiting with cousins that came into town from Paris, Arizona, and Mexico, and my aunt and my mom from Indiana; becoming a covenant member of my new church, packing frenzy all over again; 16 hour drive...
...and now I'm here. At Camp.
It's overwhelming.
The drive was awesome. I know I'm crazy, but I LOVE driving by myself. At least if it's to Texas. It's relaxing. It's fun. Clears my mind, yet makes me think. Such good alone time. When I'm done I never feel like I've been driving all day.
And then I got to see Jess, Russ, and Jen. I am so thankful for them, and for the rest of my Walkabouts. As Jess and I were talking, I was reflecting on all God did during Walkabout. Every time I seriously think about it, it blows my mind. God has poured His love and blessing on me like a torrential downpour. To encounter God the way I did in Walkabout--it flipped my world upside-down, and I'll never, ever be the same. His goodness has no end.
And then, when I got into the Texas hill country I was reminded even more of this. Just the sheer beauty of the landscape softened my heart to mush. Huge, white puffy clouds so high in the sky, golden grass gleaming in the sunlight, and just remembering what God has done in this place... I couldn't help but start singing praise. It was so beautiful that I was reminded of the Lord's beauty, such beauty and wisdom to even create something like this universe. Whoa.
When I got to camp it was weird. I'm having to reconcile with the fact that Camp changes every year, Walkabout 2010-2011 will never be again, and my role here is so different. But it's going to be good, and I'm started to settle in.
The first thing I noticed, was how rushed I felt to get everywhere for the first few hours. I guess I biked a lot at Truman (or drove), and always felt pressed for time. So as I was walking places, it felt like forever... it really wasn't. I could hear my thoughts louder again. AND I got a cramp in my side. Hahaha... pathetic.
But this is how I like to live. Slow. In nature. Feeling the Lord's presence. Being honest with myself. Without texting. Without so much personal space. With a community that isn't afraid to be real. Very real. And I've found myself overwhelmed today in the stillness, realizing there's so much more going on inside of my head and heart than I even knew. Especially in a place that reminds me of the realness and rawness of life, and of God. It makes the walls around my heart crumble to the ground. It's a bit scary, but exciting. This is what I need, and it's going to be good. I can trust these people, and I can trust my God even more.
I want to seek Him hard this summer. I want to pushed to the edge of total surrender. I want to metaphorically have that feeling in your stomach when you're falling and you just have to trust the roller coaster, or the harness, or whatever you're in, and enjoy the ride. Life with God is an adventure for sure, and I want Him to give me that supernatural boldness and courage that only He can provide.
Anyway, I'll share a bit about my day. I'm staying with Sydney at her house for a couple days before I can move into the Summer Staff Village. Sydney's new roommate came the same day I did, and she will be taking over Debbie's job when she leaves at the end of the summer. So I've been getting to know her, and small world once again (story of my life), I found out she went to Hannibal and knows Josh and other people from FBC St. Peters that went there. At breakfast I sat with Tyler's family and found out his mom works with parks and recreation and has a recreation administration degree. It was so cool that I got to ask her questions. I talked to my boss about my job, and I'm excited, and maybe bit nervous too. I started working a lil bit, and I got a walkie talkie that I must keep with me at all times. Weird! I'm going to have to get used to this. And then I got to unicycle with Aiden and I was being a total wimp and wouldn't do it without having a wall or a spot as a backup, even though I know I can do it now. But, I finally got a little burst of anger and that was enough to make myself bridge the gap. So I made it from one side of the fence to the other, past the opening in the tennis court. Blair mentioned something about me maybe unicycling with the Headwaters kids this summer. That'd be cool. I went over to the Chism's for a bit and chatted with Jasmine, Ben, and Mr. Wade. My conversation with Mr. Wade was incredibly good. He's an old man, if you don't know, and we talked about his childhood, and the Korean war, and about God. Pretty intense stuff.
It's gonna be a challenging but good summer.
This is what the Sovereign LORD, the Holy One of Israel, says: “In repentance and rest is your salvation, in quietness and trust is your strength..." Isaiah 30:15
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