Reaching to the Heavens

 I remember coming home from Camp Eagle full of confidence in the Lord's love for me. If I could define my time at Camp Eagle with one word, it would be love. I realized God was the epitome of overwhelming, complete, in-your-face, pure love. BUT

...that's something I've been struggling to see and believe lately. So I've been praying.

I used to have a majority of my quiet times on the deck by the river and feeling the breeze tickle my skin always reminded me of the Lord's presence and His love for me. It always felt comforting. Wind whipping my hair reminded me that God is alive and moving and all around. So on the first night of CCF Spring Break I went on a solitary walk and finally came to a stop, sat down, and prayed. After awhile of praying a soft breeze started blowing against my skin. In my emotions, I asked, "Lord, is that you? But I don't feel loved. I don't feel like you are here. Remind me of your love." And in my silliness I said, "If you really love me, Lord, make it so obviously windy while I'm here that everyone notices and people talk about it."

Two days later, I found myself laughing, because it was so windy. Our huge paintings on wood that we had set out to dry got knocked over, when we were sanding it was hard not to get the dust in our eyes, and we could hear it howling around the yert as we painted. After lunch I walked outside, and as my hair was whipping across my face I heard some people exclaim, "It's SO windy!" That's when I started laughing. I don't know if God really works that way, if he answers silly prayers like that, but at least I can't say he DIDN'T answer.

I don't know why I prayed that because God shows His love in much more tangible and wonderful ways--through His Word and through the way He blesses and takes care of us. He proved it through Christ and continues to prove it.


This morning, Tim asked us when the last time God spoke to us was. I thought back on yesterday when I was driving. I was thinking about the decisions I have to make about the fall. I've already decided not to go back to Truman. Hopefully things with Lindenwood work out, and I can come home, be with my family, go to Matthias, and work toward a degree I actually want. I've also considered how burnt out I've been on school and wondered if I should just stay at my job at Camp Eagle for longer since they need someone.

I want to make the wisest decision, and I do believe if I think about it more, I'll find one option to be more wise than the other. But I was also thinking about how sometimes God just gives us choices, plain and simple. He says, "Do whatever you want." This is when I caught a glimpse of His love for me.

"Daughter," He says, "If you don't want to be at Truman, you don't have to. I know it's been hard. But look, here are two wonderful opportunities I'm giving you. Chose what you'd like, what you think is best. I'll bless you either way. I love you. I am always here with you."

He spoke to me again on the way back. I cannot figure out the name of the song that came on the radio, but the lyrics were about how God is here with us. It's then I realized I came home on a car ride by myself, but I came back with Jesus riding shotgun. Little did I know, he snuck into the trunk and came along for the ride. In fact, He follows me everywhere. I am never alone.


Also, Matt mentioned how we so often read bible verses without really soaking them in. I've been reading Psalms lately and read this:

"Your love, O LORD, reaches to the heavens..." Psalm 36:5

 I never really stop to think about the full extent of this verse. But this time I did. I recall the image of the Camp Eagle sky, glittering with stars. I cannot even fathom the distance all those stars, planets, and other galaxies are from us. This is saying God's love extends that far.

Let's just soak that in. Believe it. Pray for God to reveal this truth to us.

"And so we know and rely on the love God has for us. God is love." 1 John 4:16