Persistence

This weekend I found myself looking at the decorations on my walls my eyes habitually glaze over. I remembered my Walkabout certificate existed, and I looked at the word at the bottom: persistence.

I usually question whether I even deserve that word. Am I really persistent? Is that really who I am? Who I've become? Or was that just some fluke? I wonder if I still live life with the gusto I have in the past year. But is that really what persistence is about?

I think persistence is a quiet thing. It doesn't always mean being excited. It doesn't mean never getting discouraged. And it definitely doesn't mean never failing. I think it just means making a choice. Making a commitment.

And it says, "we encourage her to use it for God in the future." I think to myself, how have I been using it? Have I been displaying this in my life? At first thought, I think, no, not really. But then again, I realize, even though my last semester was rough, I kept picking myself back up, especially the last two weeks after thanksgiving. I finished strong. Then when this semester started off rough, I really did everything I possibly could to fix this. I really did.

For someone who has always given up her whole life, it is amazing what God has done. I remember telling someone last year at camp about how I realized none of my efforts were in vain, even if it seemed like it at the time. I gave my effort and let the results rest on God. Then I realized what I had said, and remembered one of my goals for that year. So my last week, I remember excitedly telling Meredith what I had realized. "I wasn't even trying, I had forgotten about my goal, yet God made me someone who doesn't give up." Her watery eyes fixed on mine, she responded, "I know, Becky. You did. I'm so proud of you."

But I'm still asking the question, how does that play out in my life right now? I feel lazy. I am lazy in a lot of ways, daily. Tired and weary. Usually when I look ahead at my future, the next few years seems like a big mountain to climb, and I remind myself, one semester at a time, one day at a time.

So my eyes move to the verse next to that word. Hebrews 12:1-3:

Therefore, since we are surrounded by such a great cloud of witnesses, let us throw off everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles. And let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us, fixing our eyes on Jesus, the pioneer and perfecter of faith. For the joy set before him he endured the cross, scorning its shame, and sat down at the right hand of the throne of God. Consider him who endured such opposition from sinners, so that you will not grow weary and lose heart.

Persistence is throwing off sin. It is fixing our eyes on Jesus. It is hope, really. That is the only thing that truly gave me the ability to persist. Hope in God. I am grateful for that. Grateful for God showing me what it means to persistently throw off sin, to persistently pray, persistently come to Him and rely on Him, to persistently hope.

It is hard work. But brings great joy at the end of the day. And He is our strength. So I let out a sigh and remind myself that each day is a new day, and He is with me.


per·sist verb \pər-ˈsist\ 1: to go on resolutely or stubbornly in spite of opposition, importunity, or warning